***I shared the following sentiments a week ago on my private pages, but I thought it deserved a spot on the blog as well. I know that the term ‘Joy Of The Lord’, and the verse I share in Deuteronomy 31:8 have often been used to dismiss very real conditions like depression and anxiety. If you read to the end, you’ll see that is not where I go with this post. As someone currently seeing a therapist, sifting through my crud, and about to go through some evaluations/diagnosis process for some of my mental health conditions…. I assure you, the last thing I will ever do is blame someone for their brain chemistry or tell them to just be happy. In the months to come, you can expect to hear more about mental and physical well being here on the blog.***

“Where do you find joy when everyday feels hard?

Where do you find peace when everything pulls on your mind at once?

I’d love to say something fluffy and light like I hear from a lot of church people… but that’s rarely ever helpful to myself or anyone else. Luckily… I’ve found that my Jesus has depth.

God is not scared or overwhelmed by things we experience. Yes, God is bigger than the anxiety, overwhelm, depression- but I believe that the Holy Spirit is right there in the trenches with us. Right here with us.

I may have times where I surely do not feel at peace. I may have times where I surely feel lacking of joy. But you know what? When we say “the Joy of the Lord is my strength”, when we sing “He is my hope” it doesn’t have to be that we’ve already found it. It can be a prayer. A prayer that each part of our patient and all knowing God can hear.

“There is a Savior in the valley place/He’s walking beside me and He knows my pain/God, the beginning and the end/God right there in the midst of it/Joy, this is the joy of the Lord/Joy, this is the joy of the Lord/The joy, the joy, the joy of the Lord is my strength/The joy, the joy, the joy of the Lord is my strength/Oh oh oh He is my hope/The joy, the joy, the joy of the Lord is my strength“

My peace, it can come in the form of therapy. It can come in waves. It can look like more of a process than an instant moment.

My joy, it can come in a hug from my husband, the giggles of my nieces and nephews, the smiles of my siblings. It can come in what may seem at times like tiny shards or fractured mirror pieces…. And it too can come in due process.

This IS being human.

There are a lot of gross and painful or confusing things out there that any and everyone is dealing with. This is a part of our humanness- our human experience.

And the divine is there in the trenches.

Sloughing through the mud with us.

Digging tunnels, hearing the sounds of the raging war with us…. And there will never be a moment that we experience that alone.

There will never be a moment where no one understands.

There will never be a moment where no one believes us.

The divine sees, hears, and understands it all. We don’t have to manufacture some kind of manifest joy or manifest hope and happiness.

The truth is that all we need to do is just be… and the divine is present with us.

And in this moment, this reminder is what I needed…. If anyone else relates, I also see you.”