I did something hard a few months back and actually started a podcast out of this urge that has been growing inside me. Rumblings of the soul and murmurs of the mind have kept me restless. I became frustrated when I began to record the next episode of the podcast and nothing was coming out right. I took a hiatus from it to try and figure out what was causing the block.

As a writer and Canva amateur, I am familiar with writers block and creative apathy… But this felt more personal due to the nature of the podcast. After working through some things, concluding a spiritual practice, lots of life up-endings, and my first real speaking gig, I realized what has been holding my words hostage – the name for the urge I’ve not been able to quench: It’s me.

See, I named the podcast “The Truth Is” because I was planning on talking about my faith and my mental health from a truthful and matter of fact perspective. What I’ve realized is that while this is a piece of what I need to be doing that temporarily satisfied that urge, rumblings of the soul, and murmurs of the mind… It’s not the fullness of what I’m being called into. It was a safe place to be pseudo-vulnerable about real things I am indeed passionate about, but the thing I need to be doing is bigger than this.

The truth is, after reading my past blog posts, I’ve found some inconsistencies of what I know to be true. Not to say that I have lied, but I have not been intentional with sharing the fullness of myself and my story. For a long time I’ve let my own story take a back seat to the feelings and stories of others – truthful and otherwise. I’ve recently felt a release to go ahead and share my own story in more of a fullness of itself. I’ve had a lot of practice in being a good listener and in telling the stories of others or assisting them in telling stories they could not. Telling my own story through a lens of fullness in truth hasn’t been something I have felt safe enough to do… ever.

In fact, there are aspects of my own story that I have been told not to share. There are chapters of which I have been told I could never tell until certain people had left this mortal coil. I’ve seen that life is short. The brevity of life, and the difficult work that has been therapy have shown me that sharing your story and owning it are not just a part of the healing process. Truth telling, sharing our experiences, these are the things that save us, ourselves, our communities, and sometimes deeply impact the lives of even others we do not know.

This particular story… it is not just mine, it is me.

Yes, we evolve, we grow, we stretch, we change overtime, but reflection and intentionality are key to all of that.

This particular story… it is not for everyone.

This story will be heavy. This story will hold joy, sorrow, darkness, and light. There are people who will be angry, sad, annoyed, that I’m choosing this for myself. I know that this story isn’t just a story, Its the truth. People don’t always like the truth, but it is what sets us free. It will ruffle some feathers. It will possibly come at a cost… But I told God I would tell the truth. I can only hope that someone will be impacted by what I share. Even if it only helps 1 person, that will have been worth it to me.



New blog posts and podcast episodes coming in August, 2024.