Who are you?

Who do others say you are?

Who do you say you are?

And most importantly—who does God say you are?

Identity is one of those topics that makes many Christians uncomfortable. Somewhere along the way, we started to believe that there can be no duality, no nuance, no layers to one’s identity if we claim Christ. But the truth is far more complex.

Assigned Identities

As a mixed, multiracial & multiethnic American, my identity has rarely been mine to hold freely. Too often, it has been something others assigned to me, questioned relentlessly, or dismissed outright.

When I was a child, “Mixed” or “Other” wasn’t an option on demographic forms. I was told to pick one. With one Black parent and one White parent, I was usually assigned “Black.” If I dared to check more than one box, I was asked to “fill it out correctly.” Sometimes teachers would even erase what they thought didn’t belong.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that my identity would often be handed to me by others. People decided what I must be:

“No, your parents stole you from Mexico.”

“Are you sure you’re not Asian?”

“Why won’t you speak Spanish to us?”

“You are the only one in this class who looks like an Indian princess!”

“Yeah, you’re Black enough to be a n*****.”

Perception.

I learned early who I was supposed to be, what others expected of me: a good daughter, a reliable babysitter, responsible, a confidant. At the same time, every move I made was analyzed and labeled.

  • “Why do you stomp around everywhere? Learn to walk like a lady!”
  • “You’re slouching all the time. Stand up straight!”
  • “You’re gaining weight- you must be depressed.”
  • “You’re wearing baggy clothes- you must be depressed.”

The labels never stopped.

  • “Your dad died? Woe to this fatherless generation!”
  • “Without a father, you’ll become damaged goods.”
  • “You hang out with boys? You must be behaving inappropriately.”
  • “You like writing poetry? You must be disturbed.”

The things that defined me- at least in the eyes of others- were rarely (if ever) things I chose.

Internally, I tried to march to my own drum. Sometimes it showed in how I dressed, but I often struggled to push back against the labels placed on me.

A well-meaning youth leader once told me, “You are who God says you are.” But that statement was quickly followed by a lecture on purity and modesty, as if God’s identity for me was narrowly reduced to how I dressed.

Repeatedly, I was told that my race and ethnicity didn’t matter- because “none of that matters in the Kingdom of God.” But those were the very things shaping how I experienced the world and how the world perceived me. Pretending they didn’t matter never sat well with me, but for a time, I tried to live in that space- letting others, who seemed more spiritual, define what they thought God said about me.

Learning to See Myself Differently

Age and wisdom shifted my perspective.

Maybe who I am- my skin, my body, my family, my story- isn’t a mistake. Maybe God intended some of those things. Maybe the Creator, the One who holds both the divine and the ordinary, knit me together in my mother’s womb knowing full well I would be born into this body, into a diverse family, in the late 1900s, with the spirit and energy God themselves breathed into me.

Identity can feel messy, but really it comes down to this: what- and who- do we allow to define us?

My faith has taught me that many aspects of my identity were chosen by God himself. Yes, how others perceive me- my skin color, my gender, my background- has shaped me. But ultimately, only God and I can know what’s true of me.

I’ve learned to lean on Scripture to define me; not other people’s interpretations of it.

  • “To all who received him, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12)
  • “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” (Romans 8:16–17)
  • “He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 1:5)
  • “You are a new creation.” (2 Corinthians 6:17)
  • “You knit me together in my mother’s womb; I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:13–14)

These words remind me: I am defined by God’s love and intention, not by man-made boxes.

A Prophetic Word That Stuck

I grew up in a very charismatic church where dreams, visions, and prophetic words were common. One word spoken over me as a teenager still resonates today: that I would be like Nehemiah, sent out to rebuild- but also called to tear down and clean up before the real work could begin.

That word aligned deeply with what I saw in Scripture and in my own life. And to this day, I see its truth unfolding in me.

The Power of Names

I also believe in the meaning of names. My first name means “God is my oath”or “consecrated woman of God”. My middle name means “God has heard”, “One who hears and listens” or “Hearkening”. My nickname, originally reserved for my siblings, means “Beautiful.” Over time, I chose to embrace it and go by it, because it was always spoken with love and affection by those who genuinely saw me.

Each name, each meaning, reflects a part of who I am.

A Mosaic Identity

Identity is not neat. It is layered and nuanced. It doesn’t fit cleanly into tidy boxes with bright green checkmarks.

We are people who grow, change, learn, and unlearn. Our identities are not static- they are multifaceted mosaics, reflecting glimpses of the divine in every nook and cranny if we allow ourselves to be reshaped.

I take comfort in knowing that God- the Creator of all things- is far too vast and diverse to be reduced to a few societal categories. If we are made in God’s image, then our complexity is part of the beauty.

We are continually renewing, reshaping, becoming. Growth isn’t linear. Learning isn’t linear. And identity- our identity in Christ and in the world- is a holy mosaic in progress.

Closing Thoughts

Identity is not a burden to escape but a gift to steward. The beauty of following Christ is that we are not reduced to the labels others give us, nor are we trapped in the categories society demands. We are continually becoming, shaped by the God who created us and calls us His own.

As you think about your own journey, here are a few questions to sit with:

  • When you strip away the labels others have placed on you, who do you believe God says you are?
  • How have the unique parts of your story- your family, culture, body, and experiences- shaped the way you reflect the image of God?
  • Which voices are you allowing to define your identity right now? How can you make space for God’s voice to be louder?

May we all have the courage to embrace the layered, complex, beautiful mosaics we are—and to trust that every piece belongs in God’s hands.