Content Warning⚠️ Discussion of sexual violence, purity culture, and the impact of shame-based teachings.

“Body on Loan” is a poem from my soul to the pages. This poem is for anyone who was taught to guard their body or use it for others before they were ever taught it actually was their own.

There were so many lessons about preventing sin.

There were hardly any lessons about surviving it.




“Body On Loan”

They told me my purity
Was a gift to the Lord
Giving it away was something
I couldn’t afford

Wearing clothes too tight,
Too thin or too short
Was a sin toward my brothers
How could I dress myself
Without thinking of others?

My curves were a lesson
Large T-shirts were a blessing
The desire to like what I wore
Was the devil’s testing

They taught me
My dress determined my safety
Safety from sin,
From men and from scrutiny

This body wasn’t for me
This body was never my own
This body was for my God and a man
It was only mine on loan

Innocence and purity
These were the fathers’ plans
They never prepared me
For it being torn from my hands

“No” wasn’t in the vocabulary
Unless it was no to sin
But not a word on what to do
When the sin was not
From within

No advice on how to face
My God or future husband
No way to speak about a sin
That did not come
From
Within