Content warning ⚠️ Themes of trauma, shame, and emotional distress.

This poem, “The Aftermath”, is my attempt to take lived experiences and make sense of them. It explores the loss of agency, trauma responses we don’t choose, shame, and the confusion that follows not understanding or being able help our own response.




“The Aftermath”

The air in my lungs grows thin
The panic rising in my chest
This can’t be happening again

The word “no” stuck in my throat
The agency I thought I had
Left and took its coat

Terrified
Unsure of what happens next
Fight or Flight, Fawn or Freeze
Internally I’m on my knees
Begging for it all to end

I couldn’t cope
And yet I couldn’t speak
I was ashamed for feeling used
I was ashamed for feeling weak

I was confused
Because it felt like abuse
I couldn’t even say
“Now I am terrified of you”

I thought this one
Might be the one
It felt like a paradox forced upon me
And so I came undone

I couldn’t speak
So I ended things
As quickly as they started
I think the damaged one was me